Self Esteem

Esteem is an internal quality, that we develop over time, that is formed and influenced by our childhood experiences with family, how are parents interact and view us, validation and approval from peers, bullying by peers, interactions or incidences by other adults in our lives such as teachers, coaches, or other authority figures, social media, and society’s expectation for beauty and success. Through these experiences, what we infer as meaning from these experiences, we form a belief/opinion about ourselves. 

Self-esteem plays an important role in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs that is necessary to reach self-actualization. Esteem involves self-confidence, strength, self-validation, belief in self, acceptance of who you are, social acceptance, and respect from others. In short, self-esteem describes a person’s overall sense of self-worth and value. Maslow suggested that individuals need appreciation from other people and inner self-respect to build positive self-esteem. 

Self-esteem impacts your decision-making, your relationships, emotional health, and sense of well-being. It influences your emotional health, how you view yourself,  feelings of security, and a sense of belonging.  It also influences the relationships you choose on either a platonic or a romantic level. 

Low self-esteem tends to make people feel unworthy, a burden, unsure of their abilities, doubt their own decisions or decision-making ability, and in general, will place other people’s needs and wants above their own.  In relationships, people with low self-esteem will settle for a relationship that is not healthy/toxic because they think “This is as good as I can expect”.   They have difficulty expressing their thoughts and needs in a relationship because they don’t want to put anyone else out or just don’t feel that their needs are important enough. 

Characteristics of low self-esteem:

Difficulty setting boundaries.

Putting other people’s needs before your own.

Frequent feelings of self-doubt.

Difficulty expressing your wants, desires, or needs. 

Focusing on your weaknesses and having difficulty acknowledging your strengths. 

Difficulty accepting praise or compliments from others.

Poor or lack of self-confidence. 

If you identify with any of the characteristics listed above, know that there are steps you can take to challenge these negative thoughts patterns and improve your overall sense of self.  Once you realize your value and worth and learn to set boundaries with others, your entire outlook on life can change and you will be able to renew your understanding of what you want for yourself.  

Contact me today and let’s get started on the journey of self-actualization!